You Cheeky Devil
by BurnsAndMcKenna
Summary: 4 years Post Hogwarts. A light hearted erotic Drarry comedy! Please read!
1. A Wet Dream 'Cum' True

**A/N - Hey Guys, its our first drarry fanfic, so hope you enjoy! :) by Georgia Burns and Molly McKenna **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1- A Wet Dream 'Cum' True<strong>

_***Flashback***_

_Harry, Ron and Hermione were walking to the Great Hall for their dinner in a huff. They had just found out from the Gryffindor notice board that the Gryffindor team has to pair up with Slytherin to make Quidditch shorter this year and from Dumbledore's words on the notice ''Can't be fucked''._

''_Sorry about the joint teams this year guys, me and voldy *coughs* I mean this school has had a lot on this year and to be honest I really can't be fucked with this Quidditch shit so, Ravenclaws, you're with the Huffleshits and Gryffindor you gotta put up with Slytherins this year. Slytherins, don't be little brats 'cause you don't fuck with the Gryffindor's, come on its got Harry frickin' Potter in.'' Dumbledore announced at dinner. _

''_Harry would like to say a few words, put your hands together for him'' Dumbledore gave Harry a sexy wink. _

_;)_

_Harry got up and walked to the front, but didn't realise a pair of eyes were watching him. _

''_Errr, umm Hi'' Harry stuttered._

_The whole school started laughing; even Filches cat was having a chuckle._

''_What's everyone laughing at?'' Harry said confused out of his mind._

_Suddenly he felt something behind him. He quickly turned around and saw Dumbledore was dry humping his leg._

_Harry squealed and fell over with embarrassment. _

''_Ohhh Harry-bow I was only messin' with ya'' Dumbledore chuckled, and held out a hand to help him up. When Harry took his hand, Dumbledore suddenly let go of him. Harry fell flat on his arse and made a loud thud._

_Everyone laughed except for one._

* * *

><p><em>It was the night of Gryffindor and Slytherin vs. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.<em>

_The Gryffindor/Slytherin Team were lining up and getting ready on their broomsticks for the game. Harry was at the back, struggling to get on his broomstick. Draco Malfoy notices Harry was having trouble so went over to him._

''_Do you need a hand Potter?'' he said smirking._

''_I don't need your help Malfoy!'' Harry said in a frustrated voice._

''_Fine I was only asking, because you look like you need some help there''_

''_Ok fine!'' _

_Draco lifted him up but his right hand accidently slipped between Harry's legs and before he even notices what he is doing, he was cupping Harry's balls. Harry was finally on his broom but turned and gave Draco a naughty look. Draco felt a sensation go hard in his pants._

_***End of Flashback***_

''Ohhhh Harry'' Draco groaned.

''What?''

Draco snapped his eyes wide open and went back to reality, as he found himself fucking his girlfriend Hermione in their room.

''Ohh I mean Hermione, I said that didn't I?''

''No, it sounded like you said Harry for a second, I think I am going bonkers'' Hermione giggled.

''How could you be so silly'' Draco chuckled with guilt.

Fucking mug, he was thinking.

* * *

><p><em><strong>*Flashback*<strong>_

_Draco lifted him up but his right hand accidently slipped between Harry's legs and before he even notices what he is doing, he was cupping Harry's balls. Harry was finally on his broom but turned and gave Draco a naughty look. Harry felt a sensation go hard in his pants._

_***End of Flashback***_

Harry was having dreams about that moment every night since that event happened. Harry realised he was hard. Very hard. He needed to pump the excitement out of him. Literally. He was horny as well as pissed off, when Draco and Hermione announced their relationship, his heart jumped out of his skin. He has been off with Hermione ever since. Harry slipped his chubby fingers around the buckle of his jeans. When he pulled down the zip, all of his flabby stomach came out (forgot to mention Harry has put on a lot of weight).

He slipped out of his trousers with his boxers and started to pump the sensation. His thoughts weren't good enough, so he got up and rummaged through his draws, there were bundles of pictures of Georgia and Molly but then he found the perfect picture of Draco, his hair was lovely and slicked back which turned Harry on even more.

Harry realised that the picture wasn't good enough. He had to see him.

So he quickly finished himself off, got up, grabbed his coat and headed for the door.

* * *

><p>''Hunny, I'm late for work, I've got to go!'' Hermione said while rushing around their flat looking for her keys.<p>

''Ok, what time will you be home tonight?'' Draco asked curiously.

''About 10, I am working late, see ya later'' Hermione said and kissed him on the lips and walked out the door.

''Thank god for that, fucking annoying bitch'' Draco said to himself.

Draco was bored, so he decided to watch Coronation Street, a muggle soap classic. His friend Megan McIntosh loves it.

Suddenly Draco heard a loud sharp knock at the door. He thought to himself that he recognizes that knock from somewhere.

He walked to the front and opened it, he couldn't believe his eyes.

Harry frickin' Potter was standing there soaking wet looking horny.

''What the hell are you doing here Potter?'' Draco cocked an eyebrow at him.

''Sorry, ummm I was just passing and I thought I would see you *cough* I mean Hermione''.

''Hermione's gone to work, but you can still come in if you want, I got beers''

''Yeah ok that would be nice'' Harry smiled.

Harry followed Draco in the flat.

''Why are you wet, may I ask?'' Draco asked curiously, looking Harry up and down noticing that Harry was drenched, like someone had just thrown a bucket of water over him.

''Oh, It was pouring of rain outside'' Harry said shyly.

Draco chuckled and gave him a naughty look.

Harry started to blush and played with his hair.

''Umm do you want a beer then Potter?'' said Draco as he wandered over to the fridge in his Voldemort boxers that Dumbledore had given to him for Christmas.

''Yeh that would be great'' Harry said gaily.

Harry walked over to the sofa and was about to sit down.

''Stop, you soaking, I don't want my sofa getting wet because of you, why don't you take a shower Potter'' Draco murmured the last bit in an embarrassed tone.

Harry felt a swarm of excitement go through his body.

''Ok!''

And then he eagerly ran down the hall to the bathroom and stripped down to his fat hairy pale body.

Draco slumped on an armchair, grabbed the armrests and gripped them tightly as the thought of Harry naked in his bathroom. He couldn't believe what was happening.

Meanwhile, Harry was in the bathroom cleaning his balls, he shut his eyes and imagined that Draco was doing it. Something rose from between his legs.

''Hey Harry'' someone said in a low seductive manner.

Harry snapped his eyes wide open and saw a spider staring at him, and realised it was Aragog.

Aragog checked him out from head to dick and said ''you know what they say about eight legs'' Aragog gave Harry fat wink. ;)

Harry screamed like a 4 year old girl.

In the living room, Draco had heard the scream he made, Draco didn't even think about what he was doing but was storming through the door in the bathroom to find his precious Harry wrapped in the shower curtain shaking and screaming at this beastly spider looking for somewhere to wet his willy.

''Stupefy!'' Draco shouted, he hit the spider right in the balls and Aragog fell and slid down the bath towards Harry, this made Harry slip up on Aragog's fat hairy penis. Harry fell out the bath and tumbled on top of Draco. Aragog yelped and squeezed back down the plug hole.

''Draco, you saved me'' said Harry lovingly as he gazed down into Draco's big grey eyes.

Draco suddenly realised they were in an awkward position. Harry Potter was naked on top of him! It was like a wet dream come true.

'' Potter, there is something poking into my inner thigh'' Draco mumbled.

They both look down and saw that the hard thing was in fact Harry's wet boner.

''You like?'' Harry said naughtily.

Draco looked up to him and chuckled.

''Oh Harry, you cheeky devil''. ;)

* * *

><p><strong>AN - Thank you for reading! Hope you liked it, Chapter 2 will be coming soon :) M & G xxxx**


	2. The Morning After

**A/N - Thank you sooo much for them reviews guys, we much appreciate them! So glad that you enjoyed the first chapter, and here is Chapter 2 enojoy! :) M & G xxxx**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2 – The Morning After<strong>

The sex was fucking awesome. After the indecent that happened with Aragog, it led to some hard-core butt sex.

''_spread your arse-cheeks…''_

The memory was beautiful.

It was the after match and they were just lying there in silence. Not talking at all. Totally awkward.

''You better not mention this to anyone Potter, understand?'' Draco murmured.

'' No Draco, I don't understand-''

''LISTEN TO ME!'' Draco shot up from the bed.

''OH I like it when you're feisty ;) '' Harry said in a seductive tone and moved to a sexy position where he was leaning on his side facing Draco.

''I am being serious Potter, this shouldn't of happened, think about Hermione –

''OH because you really respect her don't you, by spreading someone's arse cheeks and fucking them, and especially her best friend's arse!'' Harry was on his feet now.

''Well you're a fine one to talk, your situations worse!''

Draco looked him up and down in disgust.

''- and when did you get so fat? It was like doing a 69 with a troll!''

''How dare you! You know I have weight problems, and the reason being is because of you and _her _getting together in the first place! Didn't you even notice the difference with my weight when you and the _mudblood_ as you would put it, started to see each other, did you know how that made me feel!''

Harry got so out of breath by saying all of this, he stormed to the fridge and wacked out some Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

Draco followed him into the kitchen. '' OH my favourite, good choice Potter''

''Thanks'' Harry blushed.

''Wait I am not finished!'' Draco said, remembering the argument.

Draco grabbed the Ben and Jerry's ice cream from Harry's hand and chucked it across the room. He got right up in his face so they were nearly touching. Harry could feel Draco's breath tingling over his sensitive skin.

''Now you listen here FATTY, if you open your mouth to any other human being, I –

''So I can tell Ron?''

''What? No, OK, if you open your mouth to any other human being and ginger pubes, I will –

''Alright so I can tell Dobby?''

Draco started to get inpatient.

''No! OK, if you open your mouth to any other human being, ginger pubes and House elves, I will physically –

''Hagrid?''

''No Giants!''

''Gollum?''

'' Oh for fuck sake! No human beings, ginger pubes, house elves, giants and 'Lord of the Rings' creatures!''

Draco's final scream echoed the flat. A silence fell between the two of them.

''Nagini?''

''ARGHHHH, no other fucking living creature outside this room!''

''Wow, Draco, you could of just said that in the first place, geez''

''OK, now we have established that I do not want you to mention this to ANYONE, if I find out you have, I will physically hunt you down and –

''You'll do what? Spank me harder?'' Harry said in a mocking voice.

''Just get the fuck out''

''Gladly!''

Harry had enough so he walked over to the Ben and Jerry's ice cream, picked the tub up and stormed out of the Draco's flat and slammed the door shut behind him.

Draco was surprised that Harry had actually left. ''OH Harry, you cheeky devil'' he sighed.

* * *

><p><em><strong>*Dream*<strong>_

''_**OH Draco, harder…..faster!''.**_

_**The words from Harry turned him so much; he felt his dick go wet….**_

_***End of Dream***_

Draco snapped his eyes wide open back to reality and noticed that Hermione was giving him head. It was early Saturday morning and he was exhausted from the event that happened last night.

''What the fuck are you doing you slag?''

Hermione lifted her head up and gave him a funny look.

'Ha-ha, what does it look like, silly poo'' Hermione giggled.

''Get off!"

''Why are you being like this? You're always up for it''.

''Does it look like I am up for this? You know this can be classed as rape –

''Well it clearly does look like you are up for it!'' Hermione said while pointing at his dick.

''Argh, fuck off you annoying bitch!''

Draco got up and stormed out the room, leaving Hermione unsatisfied.

Ten minutes later, Hermione came out of the room fully dressed. Draco was at the table having breakfast.

''Where are you going?'' Draco asked curiously.

''I am staying at my mums tonight'' Hermione replied in a blunt tone.

Draco stood up so fast; he knocked his carton of Ribena over. Hermione gave him a sympathetic look.

''Hermione don't go, look can we just go for a walk and talk about this?''

''Ok fine, get your coat'' Hermione sighed.

* * *

><p>Harry was pacing up and down his small council house. Harry couldn't stop thinking about what happened with him and Draco. So many questions were filling his head.<p>

''Does he not like me?'' Harry said, thinking aloud.

''Why was he so eager to get rid of me?''

''Wasn't my arse tight enough?''

Harry stopped pacing and leaned back against the wall. ''OH, I feel so used!'' Harry slid down the wall and started to curl up in a ball, sobbing his heart out.

'_When did you get so fat? It was like doing a 69 with a troll!'_

'_Now you listen here FATTY'_

Draco's comments about his weight were making him feel so ugly.

''DO YOU FEEL DOWN?'' a deep voice from the radio suddenly said.

''Yes?'' Harry replied, staring at the radio.

''ARE YOU FAT?''

''Yeh I guess –

''IS THE PERSON YOU LOVE WITH SOME OTHER CUNT?''

''YES!''

Harry neared the radio.

''WELL GET OFF YOUR FAT WHITE ASS AND GO JOGGING! LOSE SOME WEIGHT FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, NO WONDER YOUR LOVER IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE!''

''Thanks'' Harry said sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

The radio advert ended, and 'I'm Every Women' by Chaka Khan came on. The song boosted Harry's motivation, so he ran upstairs, changed into his tight vest top and fitted on his tight cycling shorts. Harry plugged his headphones in his ears and started to play 'Eye of the Tiger. He skipped out the door ready to get his fat burning.

* * *

><p>Draco and Hermione were sitting in the grass having a picnic, Hermione started to cuddle Draco.<p>

''I've missed this you know'', Hermione said.

''So have I'' he lied. Fucking muggy slag he was thinking.

Hermione turned and faced him and began to snog him. Draco snogged her back. Suddenly Draco spotted a figure over Hermione's shoulder running across the field in a tight outfit. Wait is that - ? No it can't be him, could it? Draco was thinking. Draco focused on who it might be and realised it was Harry frickin' Potter! What the hell is he doing here jogging?

He noticed that Harry was staring right at them, but he carried on jogging, what is he doing? Draco thought.

Harry was staring at the two of them in shock, them being there were distracting him and didn't even realise it…

''SMASH!''

Harry fell straight into a dustbin head first. All that Draco saw were Harry's legs flying in the air, and is that a ball sack he could see? Draco thought.

The sound of the stack, made Hermione also turn around. Draco's heart skipped a beat of the fact that his Harry is hurt. Before he knew what he was doing, he started running towards Harry and hearing Hermione right behind him.

When they arrived at the dustbin, Draco tried helping him out but from Hermione's eyes looked really wrong. Harry's bum was in the air while Draco was pulling him out by his hips, thrusting backwards and forwards.

Hermione couldn't help but to laugh.

* * *

><p><strong>AN - Thank you for reading this! The story's gonna get more interesting guys so be patient :) G&M xxxx**


	3. An Unexpected Visitor

**A/N** **-Hey everyone, sorry about the wait, been really busy and stuff... so enjoy this chapter, hope you like it :) G&M xxxxx**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 - An Unexpected Visitor<strong>

Straight after the event that had happened in the park, Harry got rushed to hospital after receiving some head injuries. Draco and Hermione were waiting outside his ward eagerly anticipating for news from the healer if Harry was going to be alright.

''Harrys such a clumsy git... '' Draco grinned.

''Leave it Draco, he's had a nasty fall for God's sake.''

''Calm down, since when did you become so protective over Potter... You two haven't spoken for months you crazy witch.''

Hermione throwed herself out of the chair to stand up and leave.

''Where are you going then?'' shouted Draco.

''To get a cup of tea.. AWAY from you!''

''OH, someone's on their period.. Crazy bitch'' Draco mumbled.

Hermione didn't hear this remark and stormed off down the hall way, Draco sat on his own and was shocked as the healer burst out of Harry's ward towards him.

''Draco! You're Harry's… umm. '' Sneered the healer.

''How do you know my name? And I'm Harry's what?''

''Well It's just we've heard your name, a lot... As Harry's been sleeping, so I just assumed you were his, well, you know… his-''

''His what? What did he say to you? That little runt.''

''Well you know… Just Draco this, Draco that, 69 this, lick my balls that. You know the usual.'' And the healer winked at Draco trying to contain his laughter.

Suddenly Draco's hands became fascinating as he pretended not to have heard the healer.

''So how is he then anyway?'' Draco asked.

''He's fine, just a few bangs to the head. Perhaps you two should take it a bit easier, if you know what I mean'' and the healer chucked as he walked off.

Draco stood outside Harry's ward and collected his thoughts for a moment, what exactly had Harry been saying. Suddenly Draco sees Harry's head pop up though the blinds on the window separating the ward room and the waiting area. Draco felt a rush go through him as he was filled with anger yet delighted Harry seemed ok.

Draco ran in the ward and engulfed Harry in his arms.

''Mmmmm Draco, I've missed this.'' Harry whispered.

''So have I…''

Draco loved the feeling of Harry being protected by him in his arms, but then realised he was angry with him. Draco pushed him away a little bit too hard than intended, this made Harry fall flat on his back with a loud thud.

''Ouch, what did you do that for?'' Harry cried in pain.

''What have you been saying about us?'' Draco shouted angrily.

''What are you talking about-''

''You know exactly what I'm talking about, funny how the healer came out thinking I was you bloody boyfriend!''

Harry gave Draco a confused look.

''Don't play games with me Potter! My father better not hear about this, my family would disown me!''

''You thought they would disown you by getting with a fucking mudblood, that's even worse!'' Harry was on his feet now.

''You know my family have got over being prejudice against mudbloods, I don't even want to talk about this, just don't go around talking about us, its private what we do. If you're going to carry on being a tit, then we can stop this now!''

Harry looked still confused.

''I haven't been saying anything, I swear I don't know why the healer knows, anyway why are you getting your knickers in a twist about it anyway, it's only the healer, we don't even know him.'' Harry shrugged.

Draco's anger left his face, as he realised Harry was correct. It was just the healer, he's not going to say anything… right?

Draco sighed.

''I guess you're right. Sorry for shouting and jumping to conclusions'' Draco mumbled.

''It's ok''

Harry smiled and gave Draco a hug.

''The healer said I'm ready to come out of hospital tomorrow morning, so can you be a naughty boy for me and come and pop over my house tomorrow about seven in the evening?'' Harry said seductively.

''Sure thing scarhead'' Draco chuckled and gave him a wink.

* * *

><p>''What do you want for dinner?'' Hermione asked Draco. They had just got back to their flat from the hospital after seeing Harry.<p>

''Can't we just order a pizza or something, I'm not in the mood for your vile cooking.'' Draco said nastily, while sinking into the nearest sofa.

''Ok fine.'' Hermione sighed, trying to not let that comment affect her.

Draco went into deep thought, he was looking forward to be seeing Harry tomorrow, but yet he was still so confused. He liked what he was doing with Potter, it felt so right, but he knew it was wrong. He looked up at Hermione and realised she was talking to him but didn't register what she was saying.

''DRACO!''

''Err yeah? Sorry just had a weird moment then.'' Draco said, scratching his head.

''What toppings would you like?''

* * *

><p>Hermione had ordered the pizza. They were eating at the table in silence, not said a word since the pizza came, but Draco remembered he had to tell Hermione something important.<p>

''So, Hermione…'' Draco said slowly. Hermione looked up at him and gave him a big smile, so big he could see a bit of pizza stuck between her two front teeth.

''Fucking hell, umm well, you remember my cousin Jamaco right?''

''Black Jamaco?''

''What other cousins are called Jamaco? Of course black Jamaco, the one from Jamaica!''

Hermione gave him a funny look.

''Yes, how could I not? Remember the time he came to visit a year ago, and he set the whole street on fire just because he lost a game of 'COD' bloody lunatic I tell you, why anyway?''

''Well the funny thing is, he's coming to England, for a change of scenery, for a bit, and I was wondering, if he could stay here?''

''What what what WHAT!'' Hermione screamed. She screamed so loud, the bit of pizza stuck in between her teeth came flying out and wacked Draco in the face.

''Errr, calm down you crazy bitch! Just for a few days, he's my cousin and-''

Hermione stood up very fast.

''Draco I have told you I do not want him staying here again, he's a dickhead and he smokes weed all day!''

''That's a good reason!''

''Not to me it's not, Draco I can't stand him please don't make him stay''

''This is my house as well, he's family so he is welcome! Don't make me lock you up in the cupboard again…''

''OK! Ok… fine'' Hermione signed.

''THANK-YOU, that wasn't hard was it!'' Draco shouted.

''So... when is he coming.'' huffed Hermione.

Draco looked at her and gave her some guilty look.

''Well, um about that…-''

Silence filled the room. Suddenly, Draco and Hermione heard a Jamaican deep voice say ''Alooohormaaa'' at the door. The door busted open and in came a big dark skinned man. He had multi-coloured robes on. There was his wand in one hand and a joint in the other. The sound of the door made Draco and Hermione jump.

''WAGWAN MI BREDRENS!'' Jamaco shouted, he opened out his arms and Draco ran to him and gave him a big manly hug.

When they came out of the hug, Jamaco turned to Hermione and gave her a big grin.

''And wagwan lovely.''

''Jamaco, we meet again.'' Hermione said bluntly, still annoyed at her boyfriend. Draco could feel the tension between them, so he quickly broke the awkwardness. He turned towards Hermione

''So umm, why don't Hermione, you grab his stuff, and I'll show him to the guest room.'' Draco walked towards the guest room down the hall, Jamaco followed.

''Things are going to get a bit interesting around here I guess'' Hermione sighed, and went to get Jamaco stuff from the hallway.

* * *

><p><strong>AN - things are still boring, but trust us, it will get exciting in the next chapter which we are writing soon xxxxx**


End file.
